Hush Now, Child

The song Electrify by Mute Math has become such a complex deal for me because the lyrics are just horrible… it’s straight out of A Walk To Remember… but ambiently it captures exactly where I am right now.

I’ve literally just listened to it four of five times in a row and my brain is like “Yes. Exactly.”

My life has had this tremendous momentum these past few weeks — where I’m not really doing anything, but internally I have all kinds of plate tectonics and gravitational forces at work.

And part of it is rooted in this sort of “on my own” pathos. I really do miss all the places I've lived throughout my life, even if I only lived there for 2 weeks or a summer. I really do miss how happy I was at some of those places on a daily basis. I really miss the people I lived with in those places.I love those people so, so much.  And for some reason I didn’t realise it till like — two weeks ago. So I’ve had to come to terms with that.

But at the same time I’m also tremendously happy and secure and feeling super-solid. Like, every new person that I meet at this point in my life I feel like is getting an awesome view of what Brianna is capable of. I feel like my best foot is forward for the first time in forever.

I love talking to people casually, in passing. I love talking to strangers.

I went to Wal Mart today and there was a lady in the shampoo aisle who saw my teeshirt (it's from a little town called Hodges in South Carolina), and she said “Oooh, I love the burgers at Godfrey's! Whoop WHOOP!” And we had a cute little exchange. And I was like, “Man, this is it. This is what makes me happy right here.”

People, man.

I love them.

I love that at any minute of any day of your life someone can walk in and completely change your mood — completely change your outlook. You can be sedate and vaguely pissed off, considering the pros and cons of “Deep Moisture” conditioner, and have a person reach out to you and make you laugh. And smile.

And in that moment, in that conversation, I was really happy to be in a Wal Mart in Lexington, South Carolina.

And what kills me, what absolutely blows my mind, is that every second that you are breathing and walking around and thinking thoughts has the potential for that. And, even better, you have the potential to impart that magic on other people.

I can make people happy.