1. I will never live a joyless life.
2. I will, in fact, live in rampant pursuit of joy. And possibly only that.
3. I don’t know if I want to like Chelsea Handler or if I want to be Chelsea Handler
4. I want to read more.
5. I don’t care about your boy problems.
6. Migraines really put a damper on binge eating.
7. I probably have a malignant, rapidly-growing brain tumor.
8. I have become an uninteresting text-er.
9. My life would probably be vastly simplified if I introduced tabbed browsing into my repertoire.
10. I will now casually dip into my mother’s “secret” cache of pudding cups
11. The problem with doing laundry is that you have to fold it and put it away.
12. The good thing about being lazy is that I have no problem just leaving clean things unfolded in a laundry basket, wearing them wrinkled, and throwing them into another laundry basket when they’re dirty.
13. My handwriting has become illegible in the past two years
14. I don't like being around people much
15. I will probably never be able to sustain myself without the help of my mom or grandmother or any other human being that is willing to answer my questions whenever they come up.
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